I don’t speak Intoxicated….

Arguing with a drunk is like arguing with a child….. who is drunk. I’m on tour in the middle of no where right now, for people who have been drunk for 20 plus years. Some where in those 20 years teeth brushing was put on the back burner, instead they gargle with whiskey once a [...]

Loaded up and trucking, I’ll do some thing they say cant be done.

I’m playing a show at a casino tonight. They usually suck but I’ve played this one a couple of times and its pretty decent. Most casino shows you end up playing for an audience of slot jockeys taking a break from gambling because they heard there was free popcorn in the the show room. It’s [...]

Whats that under there….. Underwear

I was in a night club last weekend and I was leaning on a rail and poked some gum stuck to the under side. Will I develop some disease, I’ll have to wait this one out. In the mean time nobody touch me. The gum was spearmint flavored by the way…. in case any one [...]

Words that Rhyme with Orange…

I had a banana yesterday and it was fabulous. I’ve been trying to eat more fruit lately, it’s natures candy. Apparently most of it is good for you but I eat fruit because it’s chop full of vitamin delicious. When I was finished with the banana I threw the peel onto the road . I [...]

Lions, Tigers, and Bears…. Oh my

Videos on Monkeys are always fun. I believe it’s because they are human like and are allowed to go to the bathroom in public , people think its cute and funny. That is power, if your body waste can bring such good feelings to people. They are truly blessed creatures. Top 5 best animals: 5. [...]

Case file….. misson comedy.

I spent 5 hours on a plane yesterday, still not a member of the mile high club but the lady who fell asleep next to me will be a little more cautious where she takes her naps. Probably sleep with her mouth closed from now on too. I’m presently in an undisclosed city awaiting orders [...]

Bullets, my only weakness…. How did you know.

I have the sniffles. That is the least manly of the sicknesses. If you tell people you have it there like “oh Muffin”. I hate the affliction, cause its kind of like in betweeny sick , you couldn’t call in to work sick but maybe you shouldn’t go. I’m not even sure if I have [...]

48 hours, but not the Eddie Murphy movie.

2nd full day in Montreal: I was stopping by a comedy club last night for a guest set. It’s very common for Comedy Clubs to hand out spots as professional courtesy to out of town working comedians. The show ended up getting canceled and I went out for drinks with the staff of the club [...]

I like big butts and I cannot lie… 24 hours in Montreal

My first 24 hours in Montreal for this trip, It has been nice so far. I stopped by and did a secret show at a local room in town. It was ok. The only people in the audience were there cause they heard I was performing. They people who run it say they usually get [...]

OMG a Talking Gorilla

I was walking the dog with my roommate a few days ago and there was another dog behind a fence, and of course just as dogs do he ran at the fence and started to bark. So the owner of the other dog ran out and began to swear at us and claim we were [...]