We found coffee beans inside his left ventricle…

I’ve been going to starbucks lately, I don’t know if that makes me a bad person or just a weak one. There Soy Vanilla Lattes have been rated delicious by my belly. The coffee servers always try and be hip, they ask me things like “what’s hanging” or “how’s it going dog”.

God bless there caffeinated little hearts, they all seem to enjoy there job and that’s good enough for me. I’m always extra polite to people who are preparing some thing I have to consume as I don’t want them to take revenge via a pube or something else disgusting. I think that is all that keeps some people in check at an eatery, the fear of there food becoming contaminated by some one else’s bodily throw away.

I found an eyelash in my food once; I just made a wish and blew it off. The owner of the eyelash deserved to have the wish stolen if they were just going to disregard it so shamelessly.

-Guess what I wished for?

JU