True life of a stand up comedian…

Things went well last night at my show in Vancouver, it had a good turn out in spite of the fact it was on a Wednesday. It’s getting busy now; I play a little bit of every where over the next few months. I like being on the road, some people aren’t cut out for [...]

Did somebody run over a skunk…. oh its 420 in Vancouver

I went to the 420 celebration in Vancouver yesterday. Wow it was full of teenagers; the average age must have been 15 . I told some kids that at least they had a hobby, they didn’t like that and gave me the giant L on the for head sign. Their braces shot out sparks as [...]

Parking meters are a natural enemy of the hobo…

I’m in Vancouver right now and the amount of homelessness is baffling. They must have more hobos here per capita compared to parking meters than anywhere else in the world. I should get them to flyer for my upcoming show and I will pay them with schizophrenia medication. It is sad though, people with no [...]

They are combining the decaf and regular coffee, some kind of hybrid

I’m in Seattle right now and it is raining, go figure. They need the falling water to wash off the filth that is the people who are whining in this coffee shop I’m at right now. Some thing about peeps who think they need to talk at an extreme volume on how bad there life [...]

Rain rain go away…

If I ever get married I’m going to give my wife the arm of an African Villager, really it’s the same thing as a diamond. It baffles me how people can cherish something totally covered with blood. Of course I’m writing this all curled up in my panda fur blanket. I’m in Portland Oregon right [...]

I’ll F**k you in the ear McDonalds

I’m in a coffee shop in San Francisco right now; this town has some interesting stuff in it. Lots of parks and beaches, also the women don’t wear a lot of make up so you can have a preview of the in the morning face JJ . In contrast though, the guys wear lots of [...]

And at the top of this hill, another hill. Welcome to San Francisco…

I got into San Francisco last night I like this place, the streets are filled with hipsters all decked out in retro gear reminds me of Fresh Prince. The hills in this city are nuts if you go down some streets the angle is extreme enough that it adjusts your junk, they call it free [...]

My ass in numb from sitting in front of this computer…

I’m on the road for a few months starting tomorrow. I enjoy a long adventure; some times I pretend like “I’m on a mission from God” to quote The Blues Brothers. I like all the crazy people you can meet and some of the funky destinations. I play a lot of rock bars and I [...]

Wet t shirt contests and camel toes…

It has been a fun week; I was in Tempe Arizona for it. I believe Tempe is where they invented the wet t shirt contest, or at least perfected it. Colleges towns are always fun to play due to the combination of drink specials and the fact that most people aren’t from the area so [...]