I’ll go number 2 in your nest!!!

My car makes a funny noise in the front end; it’s the kind of funny that sounds like money. It’s probably the bearing but I like to think maybe it could be the screams of a ghost that can only be exorcised if I ignore it by turning up the radio. I would never intentionally run over a ghost, firstly I don’t know if I really believe in them. But from what I hear they are pretty pissed off, like a bus driver with hemorrhoids. So for now I’ll err on the side of caution and give them the right of way.

Apparently if you become an apparition you’ll be wearing the clothes that you died in. That would suck if you died on laundry day wearing crocs and sweat pants; you’d be Casper the tacky ghost and be stuck haunting a trailer park. Secondly take note that I have no qualms about running over some one who is wearing cheesy footwear.

I’m doing a few road tours this month so I’ll be in my car a lot. It’s like being in a cubicle at times, except I don’t have a water cooler and a chummy co-worker with relationship problems. Nope all I have is bumpy pavement screaming by at speeds of nearly 65mph, and fresh seagull shit spitting at me like a vegetarian realizing they’re chewing bacon.

I like to drive the speed limit these days, that way I conserve gas and can keep my eyes peeled for any pedestrians wearing socks and sandals. My car is black, I don’t know if that’s the main reason these birds make colon babies on it, but most of the time my hood looks like an abstract art painting.

It would be weird if eventually we found out that it was a system those flying rats used to communicate. They are so far evolved they piggy back messages on are automobiles written in code so that they can get word to the leader Big Bird. That’s why Snuffleupagus disappeared, he knew too much.

JU

www.JamesTheComic.com