I was born a ramblin’ man, trying to make a living doin the best

I just got back from Arizona, that place is hotter than an Afghan women on a treadmill. I’m pretty pale but managed to hold my own in that desert climate. I usually get a decent sunburn, but using my ninja technique of sleeping through most of the day I managed to avoid the star rays. But in turn also miss out on the vitamin D the sun throws down at the earth like an angry monkey tossing excrement.

Who needs to maintain regular levels of Calcium and Phosphorus anyways take your calciferol and shove it, you giant shiny thing that hurts my eyes. I’m a moon man, because it throws down Vitamin good times. It gives off nutrients that vampires and werewolves find delicious, talk about outdoor activities those guys do all sorts of exciting stuff.

The shows went well this weekend; it was a typical bar set up except for the fact there was a metal rail running in front of the stage. Like a true man of adventure I transversed it as if it were a balance beam, on Friday I fell but Saturday I emerged victorious and completed the 20 foot trek. I was like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade, when he walked across that invisible bridge. It was in sheer defiance of gravity, I must have the cerebellum of a cat as my balance is excellent and I’ve been known to chase balls of yarn.

Now for Douche of The Day: The US elections.

Please make my T.V. go back to normal. I don’t care about you people anymore; this is the new OJ trial. Just pick some one and get on with it. Sarah stay off of SNL nobody watches it anymore, Barack we get it your black so sorry for saying “you people”. Mr.McCain I’ve got something for you in my pocket, it’s a bran muffin with your arthritis medication backed inside.

Why can’t somebody run who is not completely insane or at least know what they’re doing? I’d rather vote for Chester Cheetah than any of these “Douches of the Day”, because he’s a little exciting and dangerously cheesy.

It seems that politics are always behind the times. Guess what people; we’ve had women and black people in the world for a long time. They’ve ran companies and even ruled countries. It’s nothing new, except for that old guy that’s weird. He can only run the country as long as wheel a fortune is not on. They’d have to convert the White house into a Nursing Home and put some of those support rails in the bathtub.

Do you remember in school when they had class elections, and everybody wanted to vote for the popular people? It never worked out; the person who would run the class the best was the nerdy smart guy with a bad sweater and bland personality that was willing to work his butt off. That’s who you really want in office, that or some one who shows a little cleavage. Come on is it to much to ask for, just pop those sweater puppets out already Palin I’m dying here.

JU

www.JamesTheComic.com

Who would you like to see run for President of The United States of foreclosures? answer in the comment function below.