What to do with The BP Oil? Here Are The Top 10 Solutions

The BP oil spill is apparently done spilling, and now we can focus on other things like immigration and the economy. But wait a minute, what do we do with all this oil left in the gulf. I have some solutions:

Top Solutions for Using The BP Oil Leftovers:

BP they are really good at spilling!

1. Drop it along the Arizona border: Take the oil and mix it with feathers (trust me there is a bunch just laying around down there), now “spill” it along the Arizona border. The law enforcement in AZ could then spot these illegal immigrants so much easier.

2. Clean all the useless sea life off it: That’s right clean all those pesky dolphins, tuna, and birds out of this precious substance. Then we can return it to BP, lets face it they are more important than this useless aquatic life. When was the last time you drove a dolphin to work?

3. Label it as Organic and sell it: That’s right technically this crude oil is 100% organic. Put a label on it and sell it off at the nearest Walmart, Target and local grocery store.

4. Feed it to Dick Cheney: His appetite for oil is never satisfied

5. Shape it to look like Texas: It serves no greater purpose but everybody likes arts and crafts day.

6. Invade it: Wait there is an abundance of oil; we must liberate it from the tyranny of its evil dictator and free the people of Atlantis.

7. Back up the currency: Are economy is in the dumps. We are still in a recession but there is one thing we have a bunch of… crude oil. Instead of using gold to back up our dollar lets use crude oil. Its not the dark ages any more, there isn’t bandits hunting for your gold. The pirates these days plunder oil tankers, your currency should always be backed up by what pirates are stealing.

8. Change the word oil to ice cream: There is a bunch of ice cream spilled in the gulf…wow doesn’t sound so bad now does it?

9. Create spin off Cartoon Characters: Have you heard of Sponge Bob Crude Pants? Who lives in an oil spill under the sea, Sponge Bob Crude Pants!

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